Sunday, November 1, 2009

Conan - doomed to drown in mediocrity

Having gotten, and read, this link from James Maliszewski on Facebook, about the new Conan movie I was about ready to tear out my eyes. While I know that Fred Malmberg who owns Conan don't care a bit what is done to the poor barbarian, as long as he gets paid well for it, I still kind of wish there was some kind of quality filter built into that license.

Conan seem to be cursed by mediocrity! Ever since the hacks Carter and de Camp started to deface his memory (and absurdly also saving him from oblivion) it seems only morons and hacks without any sense of style get near enough to make movies or pastisches. It's just so sad.


  1. It really, really sounds bad!

    Milius/Stone may have taken certain liberties with REHs work, but I think that they not only stayed true to the gist of Sword & Sorcery, they also showed love for the character. And made a pretty good movie.

    So, flame away, fanboys of old :)


  2. Despite the horrible casting calls, I still have a glimmer of hope. Mainly because the casting calls for Lord of the Rings included a number of things that made Tolkien fans cringe, including Arwen as "a warrior princess".

    Maybe I am just being foolishly optimistic at this point though. When I mentioned the upcoming Conan movie to a co-worker, he immediately said "Arnold is too old". I tried to explain to him that Conan has a deeper history than Arnold, but he was incredulous.

    If this is the common perception of Conan, the movie makers may feel no need to cater to the hardcore fans.

  3. Well, the idea with Arwen did turn out bad, when it was clear that Liv Tyler couldn't act. Just like we feared. :)

    For me Conan is indeed the stories penned by REH during the thirties, and while I hope someone picks up his stories after seeing a movie, I don't have much hope. It's mainstream movie, done with a producer and a studio who can mess with things, so of course it will suck!

    I just want to moan about possibilities lost. ;)

    Actually, the first movie wasn't totally bad. The new one, though, stinks already.

  4. I'm still going to end up seeing it, just like I'll probably go see Solomon Kane. If it's really bad I'll just pretend it's a completely different movie. ;)

  5. If you can look at it as a movie and not as a Conan movie you might enjoy it (assuming it is not a bad movie, period!) It's just sad that they don't even attempt to borrow plots and characters from REH, but instead make up a new "Conan as the last Cimmerrian" good vs. evil BS. Conan is actually an interesting character, but most people will never know it thanks to efforts like this movie, which are sadly going to reach a bigger audience than the actual written stories.


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